This past Wednesday, I had the honour and opportunity to teach at Lotus Soul Gym as a guest teacher. I knew about it for a couple weeks and had a chance to think about it and invite a few friends.
There was no thinking to prepare myself or create an expectation of what happened that day. The morning seemed rather normal, I was doing my regular Lotus Karma shift and seemed to have lots of energy for the day. Chantelle took her class out to practice in the park and enjoy the beautiful day. I had the studio to myself! Hooking my iPod into the sound system, I did my own practice during that time. I imagined the room full of people and leading them through a practice. I thought of stories I would like to share, poses I wanted to teach and envisioned my success as a teacher.
The day went on seemingly normal. The company I work for is getting busier and busier. My workload is getting heavier and heavier. My boss needed a few quick answers and my focus was becoming more and more distant from the office & more and more on the evening's class. I kept working to keep myself present.
Around 4:30, my whole body was vibrating. My boss asked me the same question twice and I realized how distracted I was. Finally I had to explain to her that my head was on the night's yoga class. Before I could finish that thought tears started surfacing. They weren't tears of fear or anxiety... It was this overwhelming feeling of something greater, support, something... The realization of how important this work is, the service, the impact that my words or guidance will have on some people. It swooped in while at my desk! Before anyone noticed, I grabbed a kleenex and my phone and head into the washroom. Out the tears came. I got in touch with my teacher to let her know what was happening with me, searching for some wisdom or strength! Of course she came back with some simple wisdom & sent some strength. Her first word was "Great! It wouldn't be right if you weren't feeling something!"
There were a few points where I seriously didn't think the tears would stop in time to teach the class. Haha! When I asked Ally how to get the tears stop - she gently reminded me that it wasn't about me, it was about the service. That made good sense. I relocated to a back office and hung out in child's pose for about 10 minutes just feeling. I wanted to stay in this feeling. Embrace it, feel it, enjoy it.
I decided to walk to the studio. It would let me explore and ground myself at the same time. I put on my iPod, grabbed my bag and my mat and started walking. It was awesome. Tears flowing under my shades, not caring, singing along with the Gayatri Mantra, feeling. I had to look behind me a few times, it felt like there was an army of people or spirits walking along with me. The support was strong. I realized that it's not about me teaching, it's about channelling teachers past and all the wisdom of the practice and presenting to the students.
Leonie gave me some great feedback once the class was over. It was an unforgetable experience. One that will make me stronger for all the other classes I teach & hopefully open some more doors. The strange thing is that I haven't had that experience before any of my other classes, I did feel small flair-ups related to grounding for my first few corporate classes, but nothing like that. Must be something special about the space.
There was no thinking to prepare myself or create an expectation of what happened that day. The morning seemed rather normal, I was doing my regular Lotus Karma shift and seemed to have lots of energy for the day. Chantelle took her class out to practice in the park and enjoy the beautiful day. I had the studio to myself! Hooking my iPod into the sound system, I did my own practice during that time. I imagined the room full of people and leading them through a practice. I thought of stories I would like to share, poses I wanted to teach and envisioned my success as a teacher.
The day went on seemingly normal. The company I work for is getting busier and busier. My workload is getting heavier and heavier. My boss needed a few quick answers and my focus was becoming more and more distant from the office & more and more on the evening's class. I kept working to keep myself present.
Around 4:30, my whole body was vibrating. My boss asked me the same question twice and I realized how distracted I was. Finally I had to explain to her that my head was on the night's yoga class. Before I could finish that thought tears started surfacing. They weren't tears of fear or anxiety... It was this overwhelming feeling of something greater, support, something... The realization of how important this work is, the service, the impact that my words or guidance will have on some people. It swooped in while at my desk! Before anyone noticed, I grabbed a kleenex and my phone and head into the washroom. Out the tears came. I got in touch with my teacher to let her know what was happening with me, searching for some wisdom or strength! Of course she came back with some simple wisdom & sent some strength. Her first word was "Great! It wouldn't be right if you weren't feeling something!"
There were a few points where I seriously didn't think the tears would stop in time to teach the class. Haha! When I asked Ally how to get the tears stop - she gently reminded me that it wasn't about me, it was about the service. That made good sense. I relocated to a back office and hung out in child's pose for about 10 minutes just feeling. I wanted to stay in this feeling. Embrace it, feel it, enjoy it.
I decided to walk to the studio. It would let me explore and ground myself at the same time. I put on my iPod, grabbed my bag and my mat and started walking. It was awesome. Tears flowing under my shades, not caring, singing along with the Gayatri Mantra, feeling. I had to look behind me a few times, it felt like there was an army of people or spirits walking along with me. The support was strong. I realized that it's not about me teaching, it's about channelling teachers past and all the wisdom of the practice and presenting to the students.
Leonie gave me some great feedback once the class was over. It was an unforgetable experience. One that will make me stronger for all the other classes I teach & hopefully open some more doors. The strange thing is that I haven't had that experience before any of my other classes, I did feel small flair-ups related to grounding for my first few corporate classes, but nothing like that. Must be something special about the space.
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