Open the Portal!!!

The portal has opened, I'm only able to have a quick glimpse inside... and WOW!! I am overwhelmed! What is this portal? It's the door to all the things I don't know... I see that there is a door. I see that it opens. I see inside is like a black hole, completely unknown. Looking into the portal is crazy, wild and my awareness seems to go through some what of a metamorphosis...

In my meditation I'm only given a quick glimpse of the vastness of the unknown. The milla-second glimpse is long enough to humble me beyond words, and quick enough to call me to dive deeper into exploring the unknown.

This coming week I am start another leg of this yoga teaching journey. I have no idea where this will lead for sure - but I have a goal. Ally Bogard of Gaiatri Yoga and Beyond has opened her arms and heart to have me audit Gaiatri's Level 1 teacher training next week. The intention is to facilitate the teacher trainings in the future. So - I'm entering a training to become a teacher of teacher trainings. With these days fast approaching, my mediation practice has become oh so important to me. Sit, pray, listen.

When I initially asked for this, the motivation was (and still is) to be in the environment of teacher trainings over and over and over again. To continue the journey deep deep into this sacred practice. During my initial 200 hour certification, I quickly realized that every single Soul there was a teacher to me. I admired the work my teachers were doing, inspiring such grand transformations in others. It's my desire to continue learning from others who walk this path. I didn't think for one second that I would be teaching anyone anything. Strange. "Um, yes, I would like to teach teacher trainings... No, no I don't think I have anything special to share. I'd just like to do it. I'd like to continue watching humans on their transformation into Awe-Inspiring Souls."

I asked about a year ago. Never questioning if this was the right place for me at this time. Just knowing. Serious knowing that this is where I am to go.

About a week ago - Ally sent an email saying that if there was something I feel inspired to teach in the curriculum, to let her know and I might be able to run with it. 'Me? Teach teachers? Oh no - you must have me mistaken for someone else... I'm just coming to learn.' 'Who am I to teach teachers? What do I know?'

In my contemplation of this upcoming experience, I am humbled. There is more to learn on this path than I can imagine is even possible in one life time. I imagine these people are all going to know more than me. I feel tiny in this Universe of Wisdom and Knowledge. This is an ancient art form of seriously unlocking our individual life's purpose. A journey into listening, understanding, and answering our individual heart's deepest whispers. A surrendering to Spirit. An adventure into Service.

Then I remember - when Ally and I first talked about this almost a year ago she told me some thing along the lines of: Jana, it's about learning how to hold space. Create and hold space for the work to be done.

And I'm reminded of this beautiful quote I saw on the Bodhi Tree Yoga Center's website: "No one is ever really taught by another; each of us has to teach himself. The external teacher offers only a suggestion, which arouses the internal teacher, who helps us to understand things."

This humble feeling that I've been bathing in, I'm sure is only a foreshadowing of what's to come. Within this humble feeling I feel loved, supported and right. There is a grounded feeling along with it that tells me that everything is falling together exactly as it should, and this is good. I feel for this ride, I'm more like an experienced surfer riding an ocean wave than a passenger on a roller coaster holding on for dear life!

Life is good.

...and it just keeps getting better every day, in every breath. I can't wait to see the light of the Soul's who are coming together next week.