There are very few things I actually fear. One fear that is so deep rooted, so unexplainable, completely irrational is my undying fear of water. I have no idea what's in there AND I don't have gills! While in Australia and Thailand with Stormie, I spent more snorkeling time quickly turning around in the water, sure that a shark was sneaking up on me. Thankfully Stormie was there to reassure me of my irrational ways. In New Zealand, snorkeling with Craig, it had gotten out of control. We went into the water, I made him hold my hand and continued to hyperventilate through my snorkel. Haha! At one point, I actually climbed over & on top of Craig kind of like a piggy back in fear of what may come out of the great unknown. There was nothing relaxing about it! So what do I do here in Bali? I take an open water Scuba diving course!
Here's how this story began. Rewind back to India - mid-March. The plan at that time was to go to Bali for Ally's training, then I was supposed to go to Japan for some Anusara training with John Friend. With the earthquake, nuclear & natural disasters Japan has recently experienced, I debated for a couple weeks if I should go that way or not. I was debating going there for the training and then serving to help the people of Japan rebuild or even access things like food & clean water. I really had no idea what or how I would do it, all I knew was that it scared the shit out of me. Eventually, John decided to postpone his training until May and the severity of the radiation issues increased. So no more Japan.
Once the decision not to go to Japan was clear, I was amped to do something that scares me. I mean legit, paralyzing fear. What could I replace that with in Bali? Diving. Terrified!
When I got on the airplane in Delhi, I had this Scuba idea set in my mind. Because of my fear, I figured I would sort out my diving as soon as I got there so I didn't chicken out. I had no guide book for Bali & hoped to meet someone to help me figure myself out. As I was picking up my luggage, I found three guys with backpacks & made friends. Turns out, one of the guys is a dive instructor. Of course he is! He's from Sweden, his girlfriend is Canadian & the Dive shop is in the Gili Islands.
Over the next couple weeks I contemplated why I am doing this. My fear is so irrational, I actually think I died in water in a past life. I'll be over coming a fundamental fear & connecting with nature on a profound & literally deeper level. The thought patterns of irrationality will be swept from my cells. Strength & capability will be so present within my Being. A releasing of another limit I impose on myself. Gone!
The breath leads the way in yoga and the same is true for diving. I need to learn to breathe. The main focus of diving is to learn to breathe under water. The breath is everything. Learning to transcend fear through the breath. My understanding of life & learning new things is that if someone else has done it before, I can most definitly do it.
The experience of learning to dive has resonated on so many levels. Bringing yoga off the mat and into life is our work as Yogi's and this is how it's showing up for me now.
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